An End to Dreaming
by Amanita Ricci
Summary: Can a spy ever really have a life of his own? Warning: Some chapters are not for the faint of heart. Sexual content as befits a story about Slytherins.


An End to Dreaming

Chapter 1

Back to Hogwarts

Miranda walked through the gates of Hogwarts, not believing this was actually happening. From the day she had sorted into Slytherin house she had been in love with professor Snape and now she was to be his personal assistant for the entire year as part of her training to become a fully qualified teacher of the Art of Potions. How could she have been so lucky to have landed this position? So many had applied, so many more qualified than she. How could it be that she was chosen?

"Well well, If it isn't Miss Witheroot. Missed your dungeon have you?" Filch's sneer said it all. He never liked her when she was a student here and was no happier now that she was a member of the staff. "Well don't just stand there, grab your bags and I'll take your to your room." He led her down a long series of ever narrowing corridors going deeper and deeper into the dungeons of the castle. "Here you are girly. Professor Snape said he wanted you close at hand so he could make sure you don't go off into dream land when you should be working."

"Thank you Mr. Filch. I'm sure I will be most comfortable here." Miranda took the key from Filch's rough hand and watched him walk away chuckling under his breath. When he was out of sight she turned to face the door, took a deep breath and turned the key in the lock. As she opened the door a candle lit and a note appeared on the door. She recognized the handwriting as that of her beloved professor. She opened it and read,

_Miss Witheroot,_

_go into your room, unpack, sit down and wait for me. _

_Severus._

Her heart fluttered. "Severus!" she thought, "He signed it Severus!" As she walked into the room she was shocked. It was stark to say the least. No windows, a small table with the lone magical candle, a chair and a bed that looked as if it were made of stone. The room had obviously been used for other things in the past.

"Could this be the detention room Filch always talked about?" she thought as she saw the chains hanging from the wall. "So many," she thought, "Filch must have been busy back then!" She followed Snape's instructions to the letter and sat to await his arrival. Hours passed and she fought to stay awake. It had been a long journey and she had barely slept the night before out of excitement. Finally she heard the heavy door of her room push open. She jumped up to see the only man she had ever longed for standing before her, his robes settling to stillness as he stood before her in silence.

"Professor Snape, I can't thank you enough for this opportunity! I can't believe you chose me! Thank you so much" Miranda was blabbering like a silly little school girl and she knew it, but she couldn't seem to shut up.

"Enough girl! Be quiet and listen to what I have to say. For this year, you are mine completely. You are to do what I say, when I say and do not ask questions. Do you understand?" Miranda nodded, too stunned to utter a word. Snape went on. "I want to be sure you don't go dreaming your days away so I have had you put in this room. My chambers share this back wall with your room." He pulled his wand from his robes and pointed it at the wall. "Porto privitus" he uttered quietly and a door appeared in the wall. He opened the door to reveal his rooms, dark and filled with volumes and jars and things she couldn't quite make out. "This door will open only when I want it to. It is my way of checking on you quickly as the door to my rooms are not near your door. You have had a long day. I will have a house elf bring you something to eat and then you need to sleep. We start early in the morning. I will come to wake you."

At that he took her hand in his and kissed it lingering ever so slightly. "I am looking forward to this year. I hope you will not disappoint me." He then walked into his room and the door closed behind him leaving only silence and the light of the single candle behind.

Miranda gasped deeply. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath since Snape touched her hand. She stared at the spot he had kissed, then touched it gently to her cheek. Oh how she had dreamed of his touch when she was at school. Truth be told, Miranda had always been a very studious girl preferring her books over chatting with friends but in her potions class she could not help but have her mind wander to dreams of her powerfully handsome potions master. She knew this was not how most would describe professor Snape but she thought he was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. She ate her dinner when it arrived and changed into her gown ready for sleep. Looking at the hard bed, she took out her wand and tried to conjure a feather bed, but nothing happened. She tried again, still nothing. A note appeared on the bed

"_You are completely mine, even your magic. You will have to earn your comfort and privileges this year Miss Witheroot. Now go to bed!_

_Severus"_

She said his name quietly as if in a dream, clutched the letter to her breast and lay down on the hard bed to sleep as she was told, happy to answer Snape's command with obedience. That night she dreamed she was back in school, sleeping in the Slytherin dorms. She sat bolt upright as she often did, awakened by a nightmare from her past. She longed for someone to comfort her, to hold her and tell her it was all right but she knew that her longing was in vane. She sat shaking in her bed hoping the other girls in her dorm wouldn't wake up and tease her. They were always teasing her. Her family was a long line of Gryffindors and she was the only Slytherin. Many disowned her after the sorting and she was never really accepted at school because of it. Suddenly her Head of House, professor Snape stood by her bed. This had never happened when she was at school. She had wanted it badly; but she was, of course, a student and her professor would never have come into the girl's dormitory, especially for her. Her dream went on. Without speaking he sat on the side of the bed and held her to his chest. He smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead then placed her head back on her pillow. She woke to find the door to Snape's room open. She peeked in and found Snape staring back at her. He pointed at the table he was sitting at and said, " It's about time you're up. Your breakfast has gone stone cold. Eat, dress and then meet me in my office, we have supplies to inventory." He looked at her through his stringy hair and mumbled," Did you sleep well? No nightmares...I hope." She blushed and quickly looked down to her oats, now lumpy and cold.

The days went on with plenty of work to tire Miranda out and each night the same dream. At the end of the third week Snape asked Miranda to stay in the classroom after the last class to prepare plans for the following week. He placed a chair by his at his desk and told her to sit and take notes. She was close and could smell the scent of exotic spices on him from the day's lesson. As he dictated his plans she wrote them down. He paused suddenly and leaned in close to check what she had written. He came so near that his hair brushed against her cheek. She was so nervous she dropped her quill. When she got on her knees to pick it up, Snape placed his hand on her shoulder and held her there until she looked up at him, trembling a bit. The corner of his mouth curled slightly, he could feel her shake as he spoke.

" I am pleased with your work so far, I shall have to find a suitable reward for your diligence." He then stood and took Miranda's hands lifting her to her feet, all the while leaning forward so that as she arose her body brushed ever so lightly against his. They stood, eyes locked for a moment and then Snape dropped her hands and said, "Dinner and bed, tomorrow we supervise the students in Hogsmeade."

That night as she slept the dream returned. This time when she sat up, Snape was already there by her side, staring down at her in the silence. He held her tight that night and rocked her silently. When she was calm, he laid her head on a pillow so soft she thought it was a cloud. He then leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "You are mine, remember that."

She felt herself sink into the downy pillow and drift back to sleep under the watchful eyes of her beloved teacher. She rolled over and opened her eyes only to be back in her room with Snape staring at her once more. She sat up and noticed that her own pillow was soft and fluffy. "Your reward Miss Witheroot, I hope you will sleep well on it… No more nightmares, at least. Now to breakfast!" And at that, He went to his room and Miranda followed behind him her heart and mind in a whirl.

The day in Hogsmeade was a treat, though little was spent by Snape's side. She had tea with professor McGonagall who goin on loudly about how he was working her so hard that this was the first chance they had met all year. Miranda sat shyly sipping her tea and quietly protested that her work was enjoyable and that she was learning so much from professor Snape. She finally met up with Snape at the end of the day when she went to visit the spot she used to frequent when she was at school.

The last of the students were heading back to the castle and Snape felt it was time for them to be getting back too. They began walking back when Miranda realized she had forgotten her bag on the rock where she had been sitting. It was getting dark so Snape insisted on going back with her. When they got to the spot, he sat down on the rock and beckoned Miranda to sit by him. The moon was rising full and the light shone beautifully on her face. "You sat here a lot your last year." he said suddenly.

She nodded "You always stood by the edge of the wood watching for couples trying to sneak off, I was watching you." Too embarrassed to look at him, she stirred the dirt with her feet.

Snape started to speak and then stopped, got up abruptly and walked quickly back to the castle. Miranda sat there stunned. What had she done? She just told him her secret. He would send her packing for sure. She ran all the way back tears streaming from her eyes.

When she got to her room and fell to her knees at the door to Snape's room. Miranda begged him to ignore her words and not to send her away. She promised to never utter another word about her feelings again. She continued until she fell asleep against the door.

Snape gently opened the door and picked Miranda up. He placed her on her bed and covered her with a blue silk covered duvet, then bent and kissed her gently on the lips. "I was watching you too," he whispered. He waved his hand over her head and whispered an incantation. She fell deeper into a peaceful sleep unlike any she had ever known before. No nightmare woke her that night. Tonight her dreams found her sitting on her rock in the moonlight. She wore a gown of beautiful blue silk. Watching Snape by the wood. This time he looked at her and mouthed words she could not hear. When she woke, the duvet was gone and there was a note telling her she would eat in the great hall from now on and to meet him in his classroom after breakfast.

She sulked through her meal. Her stupid words had ended her visits to Snape's rooms for meals and she noticed that he was very careful to only be near her when others were around. Every night, however the dream returned. Every night, she thought she could hear his words better, but they were never clear enough to understand. Every morning she woke weeping in frustration. Why did she tell him?

Christmas break came and the students had gone home. Miranda and Snape had both remained over the holiday. Snape kept his distance, but Miranda had cornered him long enough to give him a gift of a beautiful Christmas cake decorated with holly and ribbons of gold and silver. He thanked her curtly and made his exit quickly.

That night she dreamed of a masked ball. She was in a Gown of crimson with gold and silver ribbon . Her hair was up and each curl was held in place with a sprig of holly. She was twirled from behind into the arms of a masked Death Eater. She knew at once who it was, she could smell familiar spices on him. As they danced he whispered in her ear, "So you were watching me were you? And what, Miss Witheroot, did you think that would accomplish? Always dreaming, always fantasizing your days away like a silly little girl. I promise you, I am no dream. You do not know what you are asking for when you ask for me. "

"I don't care." Miranda whispered back, " I love you and would gladly endure anything for you."

"Shh! Don't say such things! " he hissed back into her ear and continued to waltz Miranda around the floor. His robes billowed around them enveloping them in darkness. When they settled, they were alone. Tears filled her eyes and she dropped to the ground kissing Snape's feet.

"Please!" she begged, "Let me truly be yours." She collapsed crying at his feet. He picked her up and held her. Miranda reached up and removed the mask Snape wore. He pulled away.

"You are not safe with me. I cannot love you! I cannot bear to see you hurt!"

He began go, but Miranda pulled him back to her. She kissed him deeply on the lips and said, " I AM yours completely. I cannot go on without you!" She continued to plead with him, "there must be some way!"

Snape got very quiet. He could not bring himself to look at her as he uttered, barely loud enough to hear, "There is a way."

"Tell me!" she pleaded, grabbing both of Snape's hands in hers kissing them over and over again. "Tell me, quickly and I'll do it!"

He continued to look away saying, " I will not ask it of you." With those words she sat bolt upright in her bed, back in her room with only the light of her one candle. She did not sleep the rest of the night and when morning came she refused to go to breakfast.

When she didn't show up for Snape's second class, he sent Madame Pomfrey to check on her but did not go himself. She explained it away as a headache and was told to rest after swallowing a vial of blue liquid that was promised to help. That night a letter appeared on her table. It read simply,

_Stop sulking girl, you are mine and will do what you are told. You will be in class tomorrow._

_Severus_

She wadded up the note and threw it at the door then pulled the covers over her head in a huff. "What good is it being yours, if you won't have me?"

That night she was restless spending most of it just staring at the ceiling. When she did sleep her dreams taunted her. Sitting on her rock she heard Snape say, "there is a way" and in anger she threw a sandwich at him screaming "I am willing! Why aren't you!" Miranda woke once more to find the door to Snape's room open. This time it was his turn to awake with Miranda staring down at him. He knew why she was there and as he sat up he began to protest. She quickly placed her hand over her mouth and stopped him from saying anything.

"I'm not a student any more. I'm all grown up and can choose my own path. I choose whatever path that will truly make me yours."

"Not here, let's go to your room." he said getting up quickly and putting on his long black cassock over the little he was wearing. When he had shut the door he continued, "It is safe to talk here, the room is charmed. You don't know what you are asking. You know my association with the Dark Lord. Once marked, you are always his regardless of public denials. He keeps tight control over his Death Eaters by keeping a tight hold on the ones we care for. In order to keep the dark lord form hurting you, I will have to hurt you. My thoughts must be such that he thinks you are no more than a plaything to me; that I would cast you aside on a whim. I cannot, no, will not do that to you."

"You must." She replied quietly and pulled him into her bed, kissing him deeply. Her hands shook as she did what she had yearned to do all those years. The buttons on his robes were so small and her hands fumbled but as Snape gave into his desires he had no problem removing Miranda's nightgown and then quickly finished removing his own. He held her next to him taking in the warmth of her body and kissed herwith such passion that she though she would faint. He rolled on top of her and she felt his weight pleasantly on her hips. He looked deep into her eyes and smiled. This was the first time in his life he truly felt happy. He kissed her lips with a longing that he had held for many years and then began to travel down her body; kissing every inch, taking his time and enjoying every curve he came upon. When he got to her legs, he looked back up at Miranda. Her eyes urged him on. The pleasure was so great that Miranda let out a great moan as she held him so tight that Snape could not pull away. When she relaxed, Snape came back to her and kissed her lips as he gently moved his legs between hers. "Are you sure? he said, "I will have to be unkind." Miranda nodded and he thrust himself forward quickly before she could change her mind. She let out a pained cry and shock went across Snape's face. "My god! You're a virgin!

She nodded, " I have always been yours completely. I have never wanted any other man" and she pulled him closer. "Now do what you must, I know your love."

Snape knew what he had to do. If Voldemort saw memories of love in his mind, Miranda would be lost. He had to be cruel. He threw her face first against the wall and with his wand made the chains reach out and bind her. He tore a piece from her gown and shoved it in her mouth to gag her and raised his wand again. " Not a whimper Miss Witheroot or I shall truly loose my temper. That is what you get for not telling me you were a virgin," he sneered as he hit Miranda and taunted her again. He came up behind her and pressed her hard against the cold rough stones. He growled in her ear, "You had better learn to like it fast girl." He grabbed her long hair and pulled her head so she could see him, "YOU ARE MINE!" he said cruelly as he released the chains and threw her to her knees. "Next time I will expect you to at least act like you like it," he said picking up his robes and leaving her room, the door slamming shut behind him.

When Miranda got up she was stiff and covered with scratches from the wall. She got to her feet slowly, her knees aching from being thrown down so hard, her wrists sore from the chains. Her body was crying out in pain, but her heart was soaring. He had wanted her all along! She wanted to sing it from the mountains but she knew she couldn't. "This must be my greatest secret" she thought as she began to clean her wounds. The water was cold and the cloth stung on her flesh. She turned as she heard Snape return to her room.

"I wouldn't want my new… assistant? To die of infection. Not yet at least." He began to clean the wounds with a potion of his own brewing. It made the pain disappear right away. A note appeared on the table in front of her,

_Forgive me, It was selfish for me to have gone through with it._

When she had finished reading, she grabbed his hand and slapped herself so hard with it that several wounds reopened. "with every pain I feel the love that brought it and welcome the pain as joy! I am completely yours!" He cringed and went back to cleaning her wounds in silence.

That night Snape lay awake in his bed, thoughts swirling through his head. How could he have done this? He must make Miranda see that they can't go on with this. One day he would slip and let his true feelings show. He was a master at hiding his thoughts, but the dark lord had powers well beyond his if he found out about Snape's feelings Miranda would be in great peril. He couldn't let that happen. He had held back for all those years and now had put her at risk all because of his own stupid desire.

He thought back to how it all began. It was his first year as head of Slytherin House and he sat at the head table observing the first years with interest trying to discern who would be his. There were, of course, the obvious, children who's family had long history of sorting to Slytherin, proud pure bloods and the children of fellow Death Eaters. He had no doubt where they would sort. Others were harder to read. Miranda, however, was a shock to all of the staff. She was a shockingly beautiful child with chestnut hair and eyes as dark as the wood on the walls of the great hall. Her parents were well placed at the Ministry of Magic and both sides of her family had a long history of sorting into Gryffindor. Everyone assumed she would too. While waiting to be sorted, Miranda's eyes had caught his and she gave him a broad smile. At that time he had thought her a very odd child. When she put on the sorting hat everyone had expected a quick shout of Gryffindor, but the hat seemed confused.

Miranda kept glancing over to Snape during the ten long minutes that the hat took to finally utter in a flat voice, "Slytherin." The entire hall went silent and professor McGonagall dropped her crystal water goblet, which immediately turned to a parrot and flew into the rafters. Miranda looked over to Snape and gave him a glowing broad smile. He, again, thought her an incredibly odd child.

As the years went on Miranda continued to grow in beauty and though the boys all fawned over her, she kept to herself. The girls were very cruel out of their jealousy and would often tease her to the point of tears. She felt very alone in Slytherin house but was unusually devoted to staying there despite her family's repeated attempts to have her house changed. She was an excellent student in all her courses except potions. She spent many hours in detention with Snape for day dreaming in his class.

It was in those detentions that he realized his love took root. She was always agreeable to whatever task he set for her and would often hum a little tune while going about it. If she didn't pay attention in class, she certainly paid very close attention to her professor while in his individual care and often volunteered to help with tasks that other students dreaded. What always surprised Snape was that she always managed to make excellent marks when tested. This very odd child had grown into a mesmerizing and surprising young woman. He had began to enjoy her company more than he realized. When her final year at Hogwarts was over, he felt as though a part of him was leaving with her. He, of course, had an idea of her feelings toward him but he would never have jeopardized his position at Hogwarts with an affair with a student, even a graduated student. His mind came back to the present and he realized that not a day had gone by since then that he had not thought of her in some way.

The following morning dawned bright and sunny, sure sign of an early spring. Snape breakfasted and dressed and went straight down to his classroom to get away from the day's cheer. As he entered the room he stopped suddenly and listened. "That tune!" he looked around quickly and spotted her. Miranda was on her bruised knees scrubbing the large cauldron at the front of the class that Snape used for demonstrations. She smiled broadly and stood quickly to greet him.

"Good morning professor Snape. I hope you slept well." she dropped her head to try to hide her smile. "I thought I would start the spring cleaning early so you would be ready to review your classes for exams."

"Thank you Miss Witheroot." he said without looking at her, "I'm sure it will be a job well done." He then turned and rushed into his office and slammed the door.

Miranda stared behind him not believing how short he had just been with her. She shook her head as if coming out of a daze and went back to work on the cauldron. When she looked down there was a note at the bottom. She smiled and opened it hoping for words of undying love, instead she found in small tight handwriting

_It must be over._

She starred at the letter and then at his office door blinking back tears. How could he say such a thing, and in a note no less? It had barely begun! She had given all for him and now he was going to cast her aside just like that. She had turned away men with power and money to hold herself for him and this is how she was treated for it? "Ohhhhhhhrgh! She screamed and blasted the door to Snape's office with a curse that should have made it melt but instead it bounced off and melted the table at the far end of the classroom.

"Figures!" she thought, "He has spells to protect his rooms, to shield my room, to enchant my dreams…. Why not one to block curses on his precious office?" She stormed off to her room and refused to come out the rest of the day.


End file.
